From: The Racketeer 2, July 1993
Collins Wimbledon Shock
[by Andy Lusis]
Forget what you saw on TV or read in the papers, we can now reveal what really happened.
THE TENNIS WORLD, indeed the whole world, was stunned by the result of this year's men's singles final at Wimbledon. Robert Collins, the 100,000 to one outsider, emerged victorious after an eventful five-set match to become the first British player to win the event since Fred Perry's third title in 1936.
Some will claim that Collins was fortunate in that all of his opponents in earlier rounds fell victim to a mysterious flu bug, forcing them to concede. There will even be those who say that Collins should never have been there in the first place. If the invitation intended for Robert Collins of Kirkby, Massachusetts, had not found its way to Kirkby-in-Ashfield our man would still be hacking away at Mapperley Park Tennis Club in Nottingham and considerably less popular with his bank manager.
In the final itself Agassi was cruising to a comfortable straight sets win, leading 6-0, 6-0, 5-0 and 40-love, when disaster struck. As Agassi was serving for the match a ferret ran onto the court, dashed up his leg and clamped itself to a delicate part of his anatomy. Despite the best efforts of the officials of the All England Club the tenacious animal was not to be shifted. An officer of the RSPCA, who happened to be present, declared that the animal could not be killed, so the American was forced to continue with his unfortunate handicap.
Collins, despite having a world ranking lower than the runner-up in the Norwegian girls' under-10 championship, was not slow to take the initiative and quickly came to dominate the match. He was helped somewhat by the numerous penalty points awarded in his favour as Agassi's screams of agony were deemed unsporting. However, it should be recorded that Collins himself started the match badly when, after the warm-up, he removed his tracksuit and strode onto the court sporting a bright red T-shirt. But, following a carpeting from Indian umpire, Mr. Ramesh Ramin, he continued in regulation white.
Agassi recovered slightly in the fifth set when he was brought a Robinson's barley water and Nescafé cocktail, but it was too late for last year's winner. As he was stretchered off the court Agassi gasped a few words to your reporter, 'That guy sure plays a mean game - and I'm not talking about Collins'.
MPTC captain, Geoff Firmin, commented, 'I was totally gobsmacked when I heard the result. We all thought Robert was completely useless.' When asked how he felt Collins said he was shattered, complaining of cramp in his arms and legs, head pounding like a sledgehammer. 'Totally knackered in fact. And that was before the match,' he quipped.
Collins' coach, John Broomfield, who, incidentally, is well known in ferret-breeding circles, described his man's performance as, 'magic.' He dismissed as 'rubbish' the rumour that Collins' opponents of earlier rounds had been 'got at'. 'It was definitely the flu,' he insisted. Cynthia Lindo, an associate of Collins and Broomfield, denied she had been anywhere near the hotel room of each player on the evening before his match with the man who is now a national hero. 'And I've never slipped an illegal substance into a drink', she claimed. Police investigations continue.